These days go by like trucks and trains

flyingcircuits @ 2009-12-20T05:04:00

2009-12-20T10:04:33Z

Tonight was epic.

Snow has been predicted for the last couple of days; anywhere from an inch or so to upwards of a foot.

I am a skeptic, and I dislike snow. I was, therefore, banking on us getting some flurries, maybe a dusting, possibly an inch or so, and chalking the rest up to hype.

Went to the barn this morning, and the air had that still bone chilling inset frost that screams SNOW. So it was legit at least that SOMETHING was coming and the news people weren't at a complete miss. After taking care of and blanketing and putting away Chace I trudged off to work (you can probably insert a number of adjectives about my mood in here. Happily, Eagerly, and or Excitedly not being any of them).

At least, I assumed, work would be dead with people dreading the oncoming, ahem, "blizzard". Not so much. I failed, once again, to appreciate the dedication of old people with pets (our company survey someshit says that our average customer is a young woman. This is a lie. It is an old person. An old crazy person; perhaps single, perhaps not. Perhaps miserable, perhaps happy. Regardless, they are ancient and bat shit insane and abnormal). The customer traffic didn't let up until about 4:30. It was okay, we had not overly bitchy customers and mostly I was behind register. I used to dread the idea of being a cashier. In fact, for many years I said I would never do it. The idea of being trapped into dealing with people kind of horrified me. People at registers always seem so...I dunno, irate. Unhappy to the point as if they WANT to be unhappy. I've come to love it, in a twisted sort of way. Most of the time I prefer being on register to being on the floor. On the floor I feel awkward interacting with customers. Do they really want help? Am I bothering them? If I help them am I losing time on other things I need to work on so after closing we can get out on time? Are they really gonna make me clean that up? At the register you kind of know what to expect from people, and to a certain degree they have expectations of you. And I don't mind that "Hey, how ya doin?" that by the end of the night has tumbled out of my mouth so many times sometimes I don't realize I've already said it. Some people just smile and nod. Some ignore you. But the best are the people who talk to you. I love talking to these batshit crazy cat loving customers. I walk away with at least one story every night, guaranteed.

At any rate, it had started to snow around 1ish, albeit lightly. The flurries barely stuck, if they did at all. My coworkers and I up at the register had a good laugh at the 'big bad blizzard' snowing us all in. Yeah, really impressive. The snow died down and the customers kept coming until the snow picked up again around 3, and the lines finally died down around 4:30. After 40 minutes of quiet on the customer front, I got to duck out and head home at 5:15. Had planned a bit ago to do a movie with Justin and Matt, and seeing as my car already had just over an inch of accumulation with no signs of stopping I called Justin to let him no I had no interest in driving out to Freeport, figuring he wouldn't want to come out east either.

I should stop underestimating that crazy level of my friends.

As it was, Matt couldn't make it but Justin and I, realizing we couldn't make the original movie/time we wanted, figured out a new movie and time and I pitstopped at the grocery store before heading home to wait for Justin. When he arrived we headed out to the theater, noting that the snow still really wasn't THAT bad, yeah, okay.

We ended up seeing 2012 the review of which is for another time and place but I'll leave it at that it was better than I expected, though fairly predictable the majority of the time, but I don't regret paying for the ticket. The juxtaposition of an apocalyptic movie and walking out into a world blanketed in a foot of white had an eerie effect. Sort of lightening too, in its way. I don't like the snow anymore, and I faced the reality that it was happening with trepidation while at work, facing the prospect of shoveling int he morning and worrying about how will I get to the barn?.... When we walked out though and it was new and clean and sparkling and fresh and just...well, frankly, awesome...I admit to getting somewhat excited.

And then Taha called.

Because come rain, come sun, come....unearthly poorly timed blizzards...Our group has no limitations.

And so Justin and I brushed off his car and headed to meet Taha Dan and Rob at TGIFridays.

I should mention at this point, that Justin drives a Scion TC. If any car was made specifically to never be driven in the snow - this is it. We slipped and slid through the snow, down the road and down the highway. Slowly the wipers froze over and stopped wiping. Should we stop, having no visuals? No. We opened the windows. The highway closed an exit before where we needed to get off. Give up? Naw, we made the most legitimate u-turn ever. and continued careening on down the road.

Keeping in mind that neither the highway nor any of the roads had yet been plowed.

In a ground hugging Scion (god I hate those cars).

Impressed and amused by Justin's driving as I was, I have to admit to being slightly terrified at points as well (not by the driving so much as the weather's affect on it), so pulling into TGIF's parkinglot was a bit of a relief. Until we learned that Fridays was, who would have thought, closed. Until we got stuck before even pulling into a spot.

Luckily Taha and Dan were already there and the four of us began trying to maneuver (and by maneuver I mean push, shove, rev, hit, run into, bang on, kick snow from under) the car out. About halfway into our endeavor we notice another group of people were stuck as well. The idea was briefly brought about that we could go over and offer to help them in exchange for them helping us as well.

"Fuck no, it's a mother fucking race now" was Dan's opinion on that. And so it was, though we ultimately lost. Damn.

We did however finally get the damn thing out of the middle of the lot and backed into a parking space, whereupon we all gathered into Taha's tank and made plans to meet Rob at a diner instead. En route to diner we detoured to pick up Tanniya when we received news that Zain needed rescuing. So we swing out to get Tanniya, much impressed by the Tank's significantly better handling of the snow. On the way to help Zain we ran into people from Taha's EMS squad who were also trying to unstick a car. So Taha jumped out to help them, Dan took over the wheel, and we embarked out to grab Zain before heading back for Taha on the way to the diner.

back on the road to Zain we passed a man trekking uphill in the snow. Being the kind people we are we slowed and rolled down the window "Do you need help sir?" No, he didn't. However, slowing killed our momentum and suddenly we were the ones in need of help. We could not get the goddamn truck back up the hill. Trekking man comes back, falls about a million times and is definitely most decidedly drunk. He comes to the window and offers us some blatantly useless advice. Justin drove, no use. Dan drove, no use. Suddenly, more cars come from the other direction. One decides it is a smart, nay, brilliant, idea to turn suddenly onto a side street. Turning sharply in the snow downhill = not so smart. Enter us reversing the fuck down that hill to get out of the way.

Fuck the hill.

Ultimately, we ended up stuck again. I took over the wheel while Justin and Dan pushed. We finally get it out, and decide to bypass the hill and take a sideroad around. We get to Zain, but the tank is done for the night. The neighborhood is all hills and the tank has made up its mind to be done with hills for the night, momentum or not. We get in touch with Rob to come get all of us in his Suburban. Whilst waiting we alternately warm in the tank and go out to play in the snow. Zain, Tanniya, and I partook in snow angels before piling back into the tank to thaw. Finally Rob arrives and we head off to the diner.

Ahh, food. Glorious, awesome, nourishing, fabulous, much needed food.

Even if their gravy sucked.

As we were leaving a group of 4 or 5 kids piled into the diner, boasting about the epicness of their night.

I think not. And I voiced as much, and we began a debate until the waiter literally ushered them away from our conversation and to their seats. Whereupon we piled out and Rob began the arduous task of driving literally everyone home. Tanniya first, then Taha and Zain and Justin who opted to stay over with them rather than attempt the trip back to Freeport (smart of him), and then myself.

We had a slightly awkward but necessary conversation and all is well, and all that is not well is en route to being well.

This break is looking to be a good one.

And now that this night has been properly documented, I for one can go to sleep.

(keeping in mind that the movie started at 7:15, we embarked towards TGIF at around 9, and I got home about 4)

Goodnight all

flyingcircuits @ 2009-12-18T14:36:00

2009-12-18T19:36:57Z

Oh man. I deleted all of these quiz things out of my6 facebook notes, swore I wouldn't again...so cluttered and spammy and ahh ahhh ahh but...they are so damn addicting hahaha. and I'm bored. And procrastinating.

What first pops in your head when you think of last summer?
91, usually. Rawr. Which is weird, considering how many things happened last summer that should probably have been positive (France, Wedding) but I suppose that was the most important to me, and it was kind of what the summer ended on

In the last 24 hours have you broken up with anyone?
no

What will you be doing this Saturday?
Working, and weather providing seeing Ninja Assassin with Justin and Matt

Will you be involved in any athletic activities tomorrow?
Pony time. I suppose Petsmart is occasionally athleticish

Are you scared about the future?
Naw.

Do you feel like your life is flying by?
Yes and no. It's been moving fast, especially as of late. I had no time at all to ever get my feet under me this semester but I'm enjoying myself so it's all good

When you say you don't care do you mean it?
Depends. 90% of the time I probably do mean it.

Do you still talk to the last person you kissed?
yes

If you could move somewhere else, would you?
Upstate, maryland, pennsylvania, england...Ahhh, I feel like I might be one of those that gets stuck on long island, but I mostly hope not

Are you a mean person?
Sometimes, but not really. It's rare that I say something mean and truly mean it

Does it bother you how teen girls are so fake?
I suppose. It's certainly annoying but...not me, so.

Do you think you can last in a relationship for 3 months?
Perhaps.

What do you currently hear right now?
Sam Sparro - Black and Gold. Why Can't I stop listening to this song? It's not the most amazing thing ever...ahh, so damn catchy

Would you rather sleep for 3 days, or stay awake for 3 days?
Sleep, at this point

Are you on good terms with your best friend?
"best friend" - one would hope we're on good terms.

Do you prefer waterslides or roller coasters?
roller coasters because after you go on the water slide than you have to walk around the water park all wet and you usually get cold and the water park also kind of smells like feet, but I love the water park, too.

Are you hard to make conversation with?
I think.....I'm hard to stop conversation with. I could talk for forever.

What was the reason you got grounded for last?
I was accused of stealing a pair of my mother's pants, in highschool. As if I would want her pants. wtf

Do you want any tattoos?
lol

Is there anyone that truly disgusts you?
A few, probably

Is there someone you'd wait forever for?
Not gonna waste my life waiting on anyone else.

Do you think relationships are hard?
For a flighty committophobic stubborn gal like me? easy as pie.

What was the last reason you cried?
I thought someone was more than they were. And immediately ever a priest was the biggest jerkhole ever. It's all good now.

Whats the last thing you said out loud?
Singing along to "Tickle me pink" by Johnny Flynn who is, btw, AMAZING

Your ex comes up to you and says "i'm sorry". you...
It's okay, I get it now.

Is there something you want to say to someone but can't/won't?
Naw, I'm actually good right now

Are relationships ever really worth it?
I'll see, I suppose

Do you think anyone has feelings for you?
Yeah. Crap happens hahaha

When was the last time you were told you were cute?
Yesterday ahhh haha

Would you eat a cockroach for your last ex if they asked you?
Nope lol

Do you want to start over with anyone?
Naw

Has anyone disappointed/upset you recently?
Yes. It's all good

Be honest, are you starting to gain feelings towards anyone?
I'm a little bit in love with every one i meet:)

Who do you blame for your mood?
My mood right now is pretty good...and I blame it on MCET holiday party :)

Are you spoiled?
Naw

How do you vent your anger?
I rant and rave like a mad person. And then I eat food. And then I go spend some time with my horse

What did you do/will you do for your birthday this year?
THis past year....Gala haha. And Applebees with Josh and Dad. This coming year...ehh. well. gala again one supposes. I dunno. I don't plan birthday stuff

Have you held hands with anyone in the past 2 days?
naw

Who of the opposite sex has seen you at your worst?
Josh. He's seen me at my angriest, my most upset, my most perverse, my meanest, my loneliest, my dumbest, my ugliest. One wonders why he sticks around :P

If someone cheated on you, would you take them back if you really loved them?
I would like to say no

Is there someone you liked so much and nothing ever happened?
Sort of

Have you ever kissed someone who's name started with an A?
no

Is there anyone who will always have a place in you're heart?
probably

Will you be in a relationship next month?
as if I plan that

flyingcircuits @ 2009-12-15T01:03:00

2009-12-15T06:04:06Z

...2008 was kind of like...the dark ages of ericadom.

some awesomeshit went down but a lot of it sucked and most of it went unrecorded. I think very few people know the extent to which 2008 sucked for me, but rest assured - it sucked

(btw, for those that have heard me lament about middle school years and are wondering - I think those were the stone age)

2009 was the renaissance.

It was awesome. and better. perhaps my best year so far. I was artistically productive in a multitude of manners. I reconnected with old friends. I made super awesome new friends. I kind of thought I might have figured out what the big deal about love was. I fucked it up. I survived (after of course writing the mandatory bad poetry about it. No, you can't see). I got to know awesome people that I already knew of in the periphery and learned the full extent of their awesomeness. I was challenged. I was bored. I took care of myself. I got a horse.

I got my goddamned horse.

I love my goddamned horse.

I got a job. I don't think I hate my job. Well, I sort of hate my job. But there are some things I like.

I have survived the semester entirely on my own

I like myself. I have liked myself all year. I have only done maybe two things that I hold any feelings that might vaguely resemble regret for. If I had to go back knowing, I would probably only change one of them. Maybe not, maybe I'd have no choice.

I shared my biggest secret ever that's been weighing me down...probably most of my life. I don't worry so obsessively over my mother anymore. I still dislike her, sure. I still ignore her, okay. But she doesn't haunt my dreams. Which is cool. And sometimes, in retrospect, it seems like such a dumb thing to have been so upset. confused. worked up. angry. hurt. over, but I understand why it was what it was to me and I'm glad I got it off my chest to the person who would react the way I need. That yeah people suck and are dirty but it's not life controlling and okay. No huge deal.

I still over think things. way much. but I think that's just part of me and I'm okay with it.

I've never walked out of a year before thinking "that's been my best year ever", but I think 2009 just might be it.

And as much as it is ending on a sort of sour note (shit with Rob, Catania being class A dickhole, december = holidays = hadsfkjalkdsj;alskfdj;alfdjaksfj;alkfsjd on a number of level), there are good things hidden in there. and I refuse to let them ruin the experience as a whole.

Which is perhaps the greatest marker of how much I've grown this year.

2010....can you hold off a little bit longer? I got shit to finish

flyingcircuits @ 2009-12-13T13:03:00

2009-12-13T18:03:19Z

I had posted on another blogtype thing a couple weeks ago

"So, wonderful world of SG,

when a dude tells you that he likes you, "might even love you", but then doesn't have the time of day for you...
says he's not into the whole 'relationship thing' but gets pissed at another dude for hugging you,

would you classify that as mixed signals, or am I the only retarded person in the audience?

boys kinda suck :P"

and NOW some random dude inboxes me a response that was...sort of weird to get but not creepy (for the most part, erm) until the end

"your boys suck post blog post was funny, but also very real.

This might help (ask if you want boy specific comments):

A friend who was a psychologist for a while (older) told me once that it is typical for relationships on both sides to go through push me-pull me stages. Getting closer and pulling back. Sometimes, it has a dampening effect; the swings get smaller as time passes. Sometimes, they explode. But it is fairly typical for both sexes to be confused, but relationships are, well, complex, if there is anything to them.

It's insoluble. It's not "boys" or "girls" but people, alas. Human nature.

Now, and I know this is not conventional girl wisdom, but I think it is true: if a guy is being intimate and seems quite turned on and in fact is, and he says he might love you .... he probably was being quite honest. And he probably scared the crap out of himself by going that far. As soon as the words left his lips. (I could explain if you've seen when Harry Met Sally).

That's a good sign. Not to say he understands this; or will "dampen" his swings; or might not freak out; but a sign you can remain calm, and worry less.

A couple other "guy" pointers:

if you get intimate (to the point of sex) and he falls asleep or is famished afterwards, he probably is in love with you -- because you have completely satisfied him. If you want to cuddle, that's for you. If you want to have a good, verifiable test, of whether it is completely sincere, sleep or large food consumption is the surest sign it's a very good thing for him.

Guys don't come back for more for long if they aren't pretty attracted. But see above.

All guys and girls have trouble with commitment.

Oh, and the surest sign that a guy wants you is, well, that he WANTS you. Yeah, no joke. I've watched it my whole life. It's a powerful thing.

Sex early on is difficult. Why? B/c there is too much going on; it often short-circuits things. And no one is conscious of the short-circuiting of it.

If he's jealous, he probably really is.

If he rocks your world, than be patient. If he doesn't then just be calm.

I've always thought that 85% can be determined from whether making out is really good.

So where do you go to school? A friend's wife won or placed second (can't recall) one of the major horse competitions (national) they have at MSG (or did). Not dressage, but something almost exactly like that to the lay person.

Hope this makes sense."

It's a moot point either way, because he was wrong.

flyingcircuits @ 2009-12-05T09:47:00

2009-12-05T14:46:18Z

"Stayed up past the butt crack of dawn sitting in Dunkin Donuts talking with Matt, Dan, Taha, Sami, Zain, and Justin. Had to wake up at 9 this morning (although I woke up at about 8 without my alarm, and reluctantly rolled out of bed at 8:30)...I'm so ridiculously tired haha...I don't regret it (I'm sure by the middle of my 12-7 shift I will a little bit though :P)"

Remember that? Yeah. Why do I keep doing that hahahaha

For some reason my shift yesterday was overly frustrating so I couldn't say no to hanging out afterwards despite knowing I had to wake up at 9 again today (am behind schedule hahaha). It is good stuff.

Ninja Assassin...was kind of epic

flyingcircuits @ 2009-12-04T08:34:00

2009-12-04T13:33:51Z

Alright, this is kind of cool.

I typed my name into google, and went through 4 pages before something came up that wasn't actually to do with me. And everything else on that page was still me. I feel sort of legit :P

flyingcircuits @ 2009-12-03T17:04:00

2009-12-03T22:03:29Z

The worst thing about 'love' is all the bad poetry

flyingcircuits @ 2009-12-01T17:54:00

2009-12-01T22:54:05Z

"I'd call it emotionally unbalanced. Get on your horse and ride."

best advice ever

flyingcircuits @ 2009-11-30T19:22:00

2009-12-01T00:21:24Z

when a dude tells you that he likes you, "might even love you", but then doesn't have the time of day for you...
says he's not into the whole 'relationship thing', but gets pissed at another dude for hugging you,

would you classify that as mixed signals, or am I the only retarded person in the audience?

boys kinda suck

flyingcircuits @ 2009-11-28T08:58:00

2009-11-28T13:57:54Z

Stayed up past the butt crack of dawn sitting in Dunkin Donuts talking with Matt, Dan, Taha, Sami, Zain, and Justin. Had to wake up at 9 this morning (although I woke up at about 8 without my alarm, and reluctantly rolled out of bed at 8:30)...I'm so ridiculously tired haha...I don't regret it (I'm sure by the middle of my 12-7 shift I will a little bit though :P)

flyingcircuits @ 2009-11-26T22:45:00

2009-11-27T03:44:59Z

I hate that everyone expects everyone to care about babies that they care about. Babies all look the same, and no I don't want to see 40 pictures of your cousin's friend's wrinkly bald thing

flyingcircuits @ 2009-11-17T21:08:00

2009-11-18T02:08:47Z

Sometimes I run myself in circles only to reach the same conclusion I had before all the trouble. But at least I'm more confirmed in my beliefs than most

flyingcircuits @ 2009-11-15T22:35:00

2009-11-16T03:34:52Z

....It does sort of seem like a dream, doesn't it?

flyingcircuits @ 2009-11-13T16:21:00

2009-11-13T21:21:12Z

Things that I have thought on today,

-I've never lost that childish love of storming through piles of leaves in autumn
-Graceland by Paul Simon really is just such a great album
-It's okay to break out and dance like a fool, even by yourself
-ESPECIALLY by yourself
-Much of the time we spend unhappy is only because we feel like we SHOULD be unhappy, the power of perspective is within yourself.
-(So be happy)
-No one has spoken truer words about love than Neil Gaiman
-Actually, Neil Gaiman just generally knows what he's talking about
-My horse is freakin awesome. Always.

flyingcircuits @ 2009-11-10T18:01:00

2009-11-10T23:02:00Z

"it's hard to wait around for something you know might never happen; but it's even harder to give up when you know it's everything you want"

when a facebook status basically defines how you're feeling you probably have a problem haha

flyingcircuits @ 2009-11-09T07:36:00

2009-11-09T12:40:11Z

I'm afraid that kidney stone friday actually did kind of screw me over. I got 10 hours of sleep last night and I'm STILL freakin exhausted.

the weekend was long too, to be fair. But a good one.

it was our away weekend in connecticuit with the equestrian team...Probably our best show this semester. BEAUTIFUL weather, awesome horses, everyone on the team got a ribbon, and I got my first 1st place ribbon of the year (for the team). Good good stuff.

flyingcircuits @ 2009-11-07T08:11:00

2009-11-07T13:12:00Z

waking up with Abba and Regina Spektor in your head....is an interesting combination

flyingcircuits @ 2009-11-07T02:30:00

2009-11-07T07:31:05Z

Kidneys - 4, Erica - 0.

Yeah. Kidney stones suck

and yet. I'm somehow still victorious.

Today....Well, considering how bad today COULD have been, SHOULD have been....

I'm pretty damn happy.

I want a freakin trunk monkey

flyingcircuits @ 2009-11-04T10:06:00

2009-11-04T15:22:55Z

I'm kind of super glad that my creative writing class is kicking me back into poetry. Hooray

some of which may or may not be accessable at Ekkambles.Livejournal.Com

perhaps.

flyingcircuits @ 2009-11-04T07:44:00

2009-11-04T12:45:19Z

Legit, I own the cutest horse ever.

flyingcircuits @ 2009-10-31T10:03:00

2009-10-31T14:10:15Z

This week. Gah.

Stress stress stressing about our horseshow, although as of yesterday I've been seeing it actually come together, I think we could do this haha.

I've been listening to Laura Marling a lot. She's a goddess.....You should look up some of her stuff (I like 'Ghosts' a lot, and 'You're No God', and I've been listening to this http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zNxar07_9YA&feature=player_embedded over and over again.)

I went out to a movie last night with one of my coworkers, and we've grabbed dinner a couple of times and I think it's unfortunate that sometimes I forget how nice it is to be able to just sit down with someone and talk for forever. Although that's been happening with surprising frequency lately. At any rate, he's super sweet I just down know how much of a position I'm in to get involved with anyone for a number of reasons....This week needs to end with me still standing before I can even begin to think clearly about anything

flyingcircuits @ 2009-10-23T17:34:00

2009-10-23T21:35:33Z

"Have you ever been in love? Horrible isn't it? It makes you so vulnerable. It opens your chest and it opens up your heart and it means someone can get inside you and mess you up. You build up all these defenses. You build up a whole armor, for years, so nothing can hurt you, then one stupid person, no different from any other stupid person, wanders into your stupid life... You give them a piece of you. They didn't ask for it. They did something dumb one day, like kiss you or smile at you, and then your life isn't your own anymore. Love takes hostages. It gets inside you. It eats you out and leaves you crying in the darkness, so simple a phrase like 'maybe we should be just friends' or 'how very perceptive' turns into a glass splinter working its way into your heart. It hurts. Not just in the imagination. Not just in the mind. It's a soul-hurt, a body-hurt, a real gets-inside-you-and-rips-you-apart pain. Nothing should be able to do that. Especially not love. I hate love."

Courtesy, Neil Gaiman, excerpt from one of the Sandman comics.

flyingcircuits @ 2009-10-21T00:11:00

2009-10-21T04:12:41Z

set up a separate live journal for the, ah, more "legit" writings.

http://ekkambles.livejournal.com

intermittent irrelevant posts shall continue here at my leisure hahaha

flyingcircuits @ 2009-10-17T22:48:00

2009-10-18T02:50:00Z

Between a sudden on set of disgusting sickness and work suddenly scheduling me way more hours than I can afford, next week is going to suck. Especially tomorrow. Freezing rain + limited sleep + physical exertion + sickness = shitfucked Erica. But at least I have some awesome dinner company to look forward to, provided I'm not dead, and a tuesday devoted to paper writing. Yes, the latter was severely sarcastic. THe former, hopefully not so much.

The bees knees indeed

flyingcircuits @ 2009-10-06T06:59:00

2009-10-06T10:59:22Z

THAT was not what I expected. woah woah woah